Lit Lyrics

Well, the family drove in for the holidays
From three different timezones and five different states
And this Christmas is going to be
A nightmare

Well, my brother-in-law hit an 8-point buck
And threw it in the back of his truck
And told the children it was Rudolph
Now they're all cryin', he's just laughin'
My wife ran out and said, "What just happened?"
And I just went inside and poured some Smirnoff

'Cause we put up a tree, string up the lights
So much for silent night
Never mind the eggnog, pass me that fifth
Between now and New Year's Eve when these people finally leave
Me and that Christmas tree
We're both gonna be lit

Well, we ran out of Pepto and clean underwear
Diana cooked the turkey medium-rare
But I'll say this, for once it wasn't dry
Now we're handin' out gifts and it's gettin' romantic
Aunt Linda just got a handmade ceramic
Ashtray from Uncle Jay and it made her cry

We put up a tree, string up the lights
This time of year, there's nothin' like
The smell of pumpkin pie and cigarettes
Between now and New Year's Eve when these people finally leave
Me and that Christmas tree, the plastic nativity
And Aunt Linda's Camel are gonna be lit

There's always cases of COVID now
And cases of cold Natty Light
Someone always Ubers to Christmas Eve church
'Cause they're too tipsy to drive
When the sweet sounds of giggles and laughter
Turn into spoiled little screams
Every year, I am reminded
Why dry January's a thing

So much for silent night
It's the sound of little angels throwing fits
Between now and New Year's Eve when these people finally leave
Me and that Christmas tree
Oh, no, there's some bulbs burned out I see
But other than them, we are gonna be lit